Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

I Am #Human


I live life not sure of which side I am - not to say I need pity just someone to give me a chance

to escape
discovering the real me

the past fuels my future
hopefully for the better - but the only thing I’m sure of 

is I’m unsure

the ones I love were lost to the same demons I face

I go through life keeping quiet as if I have no right - no right to tell them all about how you chose to leave

unjustified

I saw you yesterday - well I guess I woke up from the dream today - it all too real now I’m in the true life and it all feels just surreal

Do I still feel?

Hands on my chest - knowing that I’ve tried my best

it’s been this way from the start --- just got used to falling apart

I will survive

your life will not be lost in vain - my bruises will fade - along with the pain

the day will come - that I no longer feel the need - to hide behind hardened hands stopping me
from letting those around me to even attempt to understand
there’s no room for the weak in this wicked world - but is true strength recognizing at some point ill need to open up and confess - what been weighing my shoulders down

suppressed

I am strong - just at times thoughts all rush in as waves
no amount of gestures - will make them vanish or run away - swimming parallel with the rip tide - praying it all will fade
but even then when I escape do I never look back?
forgetting what brought me to this point in life - knowledge is power - and I’d rather split screen my shadows and light - rather than live the fallacy of unbeatable might

I am weak

I am vulnerable

I am human

I will succeed - I will be nothing like those who broke me
I will love who I become 

because that persons just me

and I’m irreplaceable.

Gone With the Wind

acrylic and watercolor over an old sketch

A Day in the Life: I Prefer the Term Hot Mess




Monday, July 28, 2014

Horrified Beauty.

Found this unfinished portrait...hopefully soon I'll feel up to getting my hands down and dirty to finish it, charcoal style.

Saturday, July 26, 2014

Next year I'll be 19...

"Next year I'll be 19, And darker than ever." 
It means something to me, but interpret it how you want. 
I'm still excited that I got to finally finish this after being so busy I forgot about it, well that and the fact I managed to have two number caps (the first a 12 and last 19) in my "collection".

Turning, Turning, Turning

A sketch to pass the time from Detroit airport to SFO. It started as an upright face, but naturally I got bored and started turning it...now it's kinda a hot mess, but I like messes.

Friday, July 25, 2014

I Have A Secret.

"I have a secret. 
A quartet of second chances tell a great story of a plan for a better world. 
It was like throwing paint at a fan: the perfect escape, they were on the edge, forbidding and smug.
We have a big problem, our world is flooded with handsome devils. 
Take the lead, I promise to make you smile... 
'I've wasted a lot of your time.' 
Humans are hunted. Fight and fly high! And when you look at yourself, be satisfied. 
I survived, 
'I'm Alive.' 
After all, no regrets. 
Just Peace. 
These are my secrets."